Journeys in the Banana Bus

Test

2011-08-05T20:28:00.001+01:00

Check

2011-04-27T06:56:00.002+01:00

2011-04-13T12:33:00.000+01:00

Now, the end is near...

...and so I pull the home-made curtains. Well folks, that's it. Nearly. The end of an error. Should that be era? Probably not. The bus is leaving us soon. Not sure when or to go where or with whom but I've made the decision to let him go and haven't been short of enquiries.

We've not looked after the old bus particularly well over the last couple of years, what with being away and all that and so it's better all round - albeit regrettable - if a new owner can be found to lavish the love, care and attention the old beastie deserves.

I'll keep you updated as things progress...sniff, sniff.

2011-04-13T12:28:00.001+01:00

Again

Testing

2011-04-13T12:22:00.001+01:00

test

Cc

2011-04-13T12:16:00.000+01:00

Test

A thing of beauty is a joy forever...vintage, aircooled Porsche, #Strontian

2010-08-21T18:31:00.000+01:00

Buses on a day out in Glencoe...watch out for those midgies!

2010-07-18T13:25:00.000+01:00

Lovely dubbly...car park, Strontian.

2010-07-13T13:38:00.000+01:00

Slip slidin' away

2010-06-06T18:50:00.001+01:00

So near and yet...

That's my bus there. In the distance. Glimpsed in passing in the yard of Slipway Autos in Fort William.

The useless types at Clansman Garage in the Fort - yes, that's you - managed to knacker the accelerator repair when it was in for a simple MOT test. As they were scary, threatening thugs I decided to cut my losses and get the bus moved to another garage.

Who knows how things will turn out but at least this lot have phoned me when they said they would. In the murky world of the mechanic you have to take your crumbs of comfort where you can.

A Bay infiltrates the Morrisons T25 monopoly...

2010-06-06T18:45:00.000+01:00

That'll be Morrisons car park in Fort William then...

2010-06-06T18:44:00.000+01:00

Gypsies in Fort William...

2010-05-22T16:17:00.000+01:00

Dubs in the car park

2010-05-19T12:09:00.000+01:00

Right hand drive German bus in Strontian. Is it the same famed 'bambusgelb' colouring as my bus? Sniff, sniff, where's my van?

Here now, wait a minute!

2010-03-09T13:08:00.000Z

Can I just point out that that's the Morrison's car park in Fort William without a T25 in sight.

Steward's inquiry!

Proof that we're back in action...all aboard the Corran Ferry!

2010-02-15T12:22:00.000Z

2010-02-14T22:17:00.004Z

Get your motor running...

And do you know what, it's nearly ready for the "head out on the highway" bit. Chris and Wendy came to visit today and Chris brought his mammoth box of tricks with him. Never has one man had such a big box of tools. Just as well too.

Without too much swearing but a fair old amount of teeth gnashing, we managed - whilst battling the elements (see the bivvy picture) to get the throttle linkage sorted and fit the new (old) accelerator pedal. The old fella (the van, not Chris) is now running fairly sweetly and should be ready to hit the garage for that all important pre-sale MOT test in the not too distant future.

I have, of course, mixed feelings about this but I'm sure it's all for the best really...

There's a wee set of Flickr pics here.

2010-02-11T14:15:00.005Z

Make me an offer...

The van is loosely up for sale. I say loosely as I've not been very proactive in doing anything about it. I've also not been in the same location as the van so doing anything's not been that easy anyway.

It's perhaps sypmtomatic (or indicative) of my reluctance to sell that I'm doing so little but I'll tell you what, I haven't half had some odd communications about it.

If you are genuinely interested (more interested than I am in selling it perhaps!) then please do get in touch. Either leave a comment here or send me a tweet, I'm on twitter as "singletrackroad"

Happy buying...

2010-02-01T16:47:00.003Z

Wasn't liking that other Wordle...

2010-01-19T16:20:00.001Z

What's happened there? I'm going to call for a steward's inquiry.

Morrison's car park, Fort William and not a T25 in sight.

Are you getting that. Morrisons. Car. Park. Fort. William. Not. A. T25. In. Sight.

Direct contravention of the rules I'm sure you'll agree.

2010-01-14T21:02:00.000Z

A wordle in your ear...

2009-10-30T23:07:00.005Z

Well looky here...

I forgot to snap the (inevitable) T25 in Morrisons car park in Fort William today. Such is life. News did reach me, however, via @snapdragonjane on Twitter of further Highland VW camper related activity though.

Which is nice. Happy Highland Campers They also tweet - here.

The rule applies again...

2009-10-12T14:34:00.000+01:00

Fort William. Morrisons car park. The obligatory T25.

Spotted in Inverness

2009-09-03T12:46:00.000+01:00

A nice F reg with that all important extra storage...how do they get up there?

2009-08-11T15:18:00.006+01:00

Pedal (worn right down) to the metal...

I'm trying (yes, very) to get this bus back up and on the road again. Hopefully nothing major 'wrong' as such but one worrying issue has been the incorrectly aligned throttle linkage due to bodged (not by me I might add!) accelerator pedal repair.

You have to admire the cunning of the mind which thinks , "hmm, I know, I'll not bother my a**e trying to find a replacement, I'll just use a butt-hinge and move the whole thing back a wee bit." No, you really do have to admire it: it's done fine for us for over five years and has managed two round-Ireland trips.

Anyway, I've managed to locate a replacement from Volksheaven and have secured the services of our friendly mechanic to sort it all out for us.

Here's hoping. (I'm pretty sure I'll find a use for that book there on the left at some point too...)

The Fort William Morrisons car park T25 rule applies

2009-08-02T11:14:00.000+01:00

Every time...

2009-06-15T13:00:00.000+01:00

Singletrackbusroadscamperirelandtypething

When your domain name provider (in my case 1&1) sends you an email asking if you want another .co.uk domain name for £2.99 for two years then what would you do?

If, like me, you were recovering from major knee surgery and had little else to occupy your time other than some light physiotherapy exercises, reading books and fiddling around on the internet you’d probably do what I did and sign up for www.singletrackroads.co.uk

What you’d then do, if you were me, would be to head over to blogger.com and register singletrackbus.blogspot.com and link it to your three blogs (Journeys in The Banana Bus, Single Track Roads and Round Ireland In A Wedge) so that they could all be accessed from the one “web portal” (seamlessly slipped into techy-jargon there…)

You might, then, if you were me, go back to 1&1 and point your domain names at this new portal. But only if you were me.

2009-06-11T15:14:00.001+01:00

It wouldn't take much would it?

Hobbling around on crutches in the confines of the van, filling plastic bags with rubbish and realising that with a wee bit of TLC we could get the old fellow up and running for some summer activity without (hopefully) too much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

The exterior is still a bit tatty, as it's bound to be considering I've done nothing with it but inside a quick whizz round with the dustpan and brush and a wet wipe should do it.

Where to first? Get that kettle on...

2009-06-07T11:50:00.001+01:00

What is it with supermarket car parks and T25s? This is Tesco in Inverness but you can bet your bum there'll be at least two in the Morrison's in Fort William. Over the last few years we have established that this must be a local bye-law.

2009-06-05T22:13:00.001+01:00

Always with the f***in' chicken...

I've seen it before but what a brilliant thing to watch again. Little Miss Sunshine is a great wee film and the fantastic Alan Arkin is wonderfully watchable as the nutty grandad with a heart of gold.

As dysfunctional families go they even rival mine...and starting a camper van has never been so much fun...

2009-06-05T07:59:00.001+01:00

Badge of honour...

This is a wee picture of the lovely badge sent to me by Jane at Snapdragon.

She's launching a new range of cloth badges and had asked her blog readers if they'd help out by sending in snaps of the badges in situ.

Happy to help with this lovely example of a wee caravan...a T25 next perhaps?

2009-05-22T07:48:00.000+01:00

A dusty walk to the tap...

Just come across this in last weekend's Guardian Family section; couldn't agree more...

At home

In the US, there are "campers" who head into the wilderness, tents on backs - and there are the "car-campers", much derided by hardliners for bringing along a vehicle full of "essentials". In the spirit of British invention, why not try "house-camping"?

Our impetus to set up a tent on the lawn came from a need to air the tent for future trips and a failure to plan for the bank holiday. Surprisingly, there was still the same sense of anticipation of sleeping outside, the same excitement in "helping" Dad put up the tent and, even better, the chance to get really filthy - especially while preparing marshmallows over the fire pit.

True, there is no new environment to explore - the fun derives from looking at the same place in a new way. Plus, the next morning, there is little packing to be done, the bathroom facilities are excellent, and making coffee does not involve a dusty walk to the tap, a gas canister and a long wait.

Rebecca Gardner

2009-03-25T20:11:00.005Z

Who's SORN-y now?

I've just declared the Banana Bus "out of action" (via the wonders of the DVLA's online service I might add) and I feel a nagging sense of betrayal.

I know it makes financial (and common) sense given that we're not going to get any use out of it between now and the summer holidays but I can't help feeling that I've let the bus down.

Hopefully the feeling will dissipate and I can make it up to the old fella with a good long jaunt in the summer months.

It wasn't quite what I had in mind when I thought about taking the van offroad...

2009-03-11T22:42:00.003Z

Hey Jealousy...

Itching to get back out on the road in the big yellow beast. Gail's wee sister has been in touch to ask for recommendations for a potential upcoming west-coast motorhome trip and I've been digging around the old posts on Applecross, Gairloch, Ullapool and the likes.

I suppose I could have gone all Pete McCarthy and kept it a secret but frankly that would have been unkind and, when you've got loonies like Monty Halls telling the world and its wife all about the joys of Wester Ross on national telly then it's the beginning of the end anyway!

I'm going to start bigging-up Skegness and Cleethorpes in the secret hope that others will follow, that'll keep the West Coast clearer...doh!

2008-12-11T21:56:00.003Z

The eighth rule of travel...

...states "never pass a pub with your name on it." So, at least, said Pete McCarthy. I've just re-read the wonderful McCarthy's Bar for the umpteenth time and, as always, it made me want to decamp immediately to West Cork.

Any book with the line, "The barman was in his sixties and a cardigan" immediately deserves a prize.

Bill Bryson, in "Notes from a small island" said of Durham "Go! At once! Take my car!" and West Cork fits easily into the same category. Only more so. Durham's fine and dandy and having only visited once I shouldn't really comment but it can't possibly be a patch on West Cork.

Pete manages to make the place come alive to the extent that not only does the reader want to visit but in many ways one feels one already has. I realise that as a frequent visitor to Ireland over the years that it's a fairly existential concept for me to imagine that I'd not visited somewhere and clear my memory of it in order to imagine - through the book - that I'd somehow glimpsed these people and places through Pete's eyes. But a pint of Guinness certainly helps the process.

The book, essentially, is the story of Pete's quest to find some sense of belonging in a country he knows well through visits and family ties but in which he's never lived. He questions whether it's possible to have a "spiritual ancestry" or whether the Irish just make everyone feel welcome being, as they are, "expert havers of a good-time."

I don't know. I've always felt at home in Ireland, though not - strangely - in the North where, oddly enough, most of the relatives are. What does that say about the diaspora?

What the book mostly throws up is the value of human contact and right across the road from MacCarthy's Bar itself is the source of one of my favourite memories of Ireland...

July, 2001 my good lady and I were sitting down to breakfast in a B&B in a fuzzy-headed-too-much-Guinness-in-MacCarthy's way. The owner of the establishment - a ruddy faced man of indeterminate years - asked us if we'd like tea or coffee and then suggested "you'll have the full Irish?" No, thanks, we're fine. Just bacon and sausage for me please. "Ach sure, you'll manage the full Irish..." No, really. Coffee, bacon, sausage - magic, thanks.

Moments later it duly appeared...including the clearly non-optional eggs, black pudding, white pudding, fired bread and mushrooms that make up the "full Irish" version of bacon and sausage!

2008-12-09T23:52:00.003Z

Yup, still here...

I found this blog-widget tonight and I'm quite liking it. Haven't signed up yet as I've nothing planned travel-wise but it's exactly what I was looking for the first time we went Round Ireland In A Wedge.

Ach well, better late than never...

2008-09-07T16:10:00.001+01:00

This is sad...

Determined thieves or a repair in progress? Arisaig camper is out of action...

2008-06-24T00:03:00.002+01:00

The view from the front window...

The very nice man from Morar Motors met me off the ferry today to give me my fully MOT tested bus (complete with some advisory notes, but we'll gloss over them for the moment).

I then had to give him a lift back to the garage - what a hoot! Great service, bizarre, but great...

I parked the bus in Mallaig where I was collecting the car. The poor van hasn't been left with much of a view though...

2008-06-21T22:15:00.002+01:00

C'mon the bus!

During last week's school trip, I managed to get the van into Morar Motors to go through its MOT test. Not too concerned but, equally, not too hopeful.

However, phone call today...PASSED! Go on the bus! Lovely stuff.

Picking it up on Monday. Nice.

2008-04-09T22:08:00.002+01:00

You're going where?

Okay, not a journey in the bus as such but as one is not allowed to take campervans onto the Isle of Muck I shall stretch the parameters somewhat.

So, why Muck? A wee change of scene is why...

2008-03-21T22:07:00.003Z

The return of the Banana Bus...

Got the van back from the local garage today...busted throttle linkage which has been duly sorted out along with the lumpy starting and running (touch wood).

Let's hope this is the start of brighter things for the bus. It was certainly a glorious day on the return journey...

Fortunately you can't make out the price on the village pump in this photo...

118.9pence a litre!

2008-03-13T23:03:00.003Z

Wow. Last post 14th November.

Well, still here. Just. I've been horribly busy and the bus has been sadly neglected. A bit like this blog. There's not been much happening other than the bus bailing us out a tight car-related spot over Christmas.

Until today.

The old fella wouldn't start so I called the AA. The throttle linkage appears to have gone as it's been sitting. Ho hum. Will try to get it back on the road...though possibly only to (whisper it) get ready to sell. Gulp.

Thank goodness for AA Home Start. Though the photos make me sad. (Or am I simply sad for taking them?)

2007-11-14T16:58:00.000Z

I'm Still Alive...

Unfortunately there's just no time to do much by way of blogging. Ho hum. Will sort it out I guess.

Jings.

2007-09-04T16:06:00.000+01:00

You'd think nothing had happened...

...what with the shocking lack of activity on here. I'll sort it, honestly. Been very busy, back to school, forward planning folders, assignment for the Post-Grad course, etc, etc...

Bus in the garage at the moment. Bit of a fuel smell due to some delightful people not connecting things back up properly following an unsavoury incident in...hey, hang on, I was nearly off one one there. No time for that just now.

Moustache.

2007-08-07T23:47:00.000+01:00

Maps? Check. Gas cylinder? Check. Wind turbine?!

Yes indeedy. Amongst the stranger items to have been loaded aboard the big yellow bus. Tis true. Off to Gigha tomorrow to test a turbine. Really. Watch this space as they say.

PS: 10 points to me for avoiding calling this post "Gigha's a break"

2007-08-06T23:37:00.001+01:00

Air-cooled & Wind-powered...

Supposed to be working on a piece for VW Camper magazine at the moment on using a wind-turbine to aid with the whole leisure battery thing and I've got some kit on trial from a UK based manufacturer. "Simple to install" is a sing I've come to realise is a lie. That's all I'll say for now other than "there's NO WAY any of this is going to work properly."

Cynical? Moi? Deep breaths....calmer than you are.

2007-08-06T22:36:00.000+01:00

Well...over for another year.

We're back. Failed dismally to update the blog during the trip and lacking the wherewithal/inspiration/energy to do so now. Loads done/seen/photographed and perhaps I'll get around to getting it all down at some point soon. Who can say?

Tired children in County Kerry.

2007-07-17T00:13:00.000+01:00

A journey of a thousand miles starts with...

...planting potatoes in the dark at ten to eleven at night. Obviously. No way was I letting those chitted chappies go to waste. Having packed up the bus and moved it out of the garden I remembered that we'd dug up the last of the "earlies" yesterday so we had to get something in for the autumn. Priorities and all that.

Ho hum. Must get to bed. Need to be up in a few hours to begin the long trek south to Cairnryan for the ferry to Larne and the start of this summer's big trip.

Bits and bobs to be done for VW Camper & Commercial magazine and hopefully I'll get some blogging done along the way at my Irish site.

Until next time (and perhaps that long promised catch up blog)...

2007-07-13T00:05:00.000+01:00

So much to do...

...so little time. How is it possible to be on holiday (six weeks!) and yet have no time to get anything done? How do I ever find the time to even go to work?

As it is, I'm trying to get a blog of the stuff mentioned on my dodgy emailed-in post done but failing dismally due to being sidetracked by internet research for "Round Ireland In A Wedge 2 - the return of the Banana Bus." The excitement is mounting. I've even looked at parking spaces in Dublin. Honest. (apparently it's quite tricky)

Watch this space...but don't let anyone catch you parking in it.

2007-07-11T11:39:00.000+01:00

Hold on to what?

Aha! A "holding post" as the Bloggerati might say. Just in case you thought the wheels had metaphorically come off the bus, I'm emailing in a message. Lots to update: Outsider Festival; "Squatters" in the van; a wee bump: MOT testing and the shambles that is Just Kampers. Phew. How will you cope with the suspense of waiting?

2007-06-26T20:37:00.000+01:00

More uses for a camper van...

Okay, so there's driving, camping, making tea, transporting stuff and all those normal activities. How about a VWT25 Hen Rain-Awning?

2007-06-25T20:24:00.000+01:00

Little Miss Sunshine...

Okay, so I'm a bit late with this one but we've only just got round to watching the film with the bus. Very enjoyable it was too. Best bit, for me, wasn't the bus, surprising though that may be. The wonderful Alan Arkin as Grandpa was the show stealer I reckon. I knew him from So I Married An Axe Murderer (one of the great, criminally overlooked films I think) and he was brilliant in "..Sunshine" as a curmudgeonly geriatric.

The bus, it must be said was lovely and reminded me a lot of the idiosyncracies of the Banana Bus. In the film, they have to start the van by pushing it until it hits 15mph so they can get into third gear due to a clutch failure. In the Banana Bus I have to jump straight into "D" from "R" on the automatic gearbox before the engine cuts out if I've only just started up, whilst reversing - slowly - round the rather tight squeeze into our back yard is a bit of a nightmare if I've not let the van warm up! What else? Of course: the legendary "3 pumps from cold" starting method - apparently an officially recognised aircooled vee-dub starting method. What's that all about?

Still, whatever gets you through the day. I wonder if we could get a resident curmudgeonly geriatric for the camper van?

2007-06-17T13:56:00.000+01:00

Steve the Camper Van...
(a blog by Ben)

I like the camper van so much because I sleep upstairs and mum and dad sleep downstairs. And you always bump up and down when you're driving and when I'm upstairs in my bed I hear the wind because there's a flap at the top - an air flap.

And I like to go in the camper van cos' it's a sleepover, I don't like camper vans sometimes because they're motorhomes and I don't like motorhomes. I like the camper van so much and when you go downhill it makes you go "wooooooo.....ahhhhhhhhh."

I like Steve on the Really Wild Show so that's why the camper van's called Steve*.

*I'm not sure about "Steve" as a name for the bus. By Bryan.

2007-06-15T23:35:00.000+01:00

MODs and Rockers...

Not sure if that post title's going to work but hey, it's my blog so I'll do what I like I suppose...anyway, today I took the bus to school, as is my occasional want.

I took it yesterday too, and on the way home I had the pleasure of listening to a bit of a lost classic, uncovered in the dusty depths of the glovebox. Ten by Pearl Jam really is a masterpiece, every song sounding fantastic and (perhaps?) even better for not having been heard in a while. It really is a lovely thing to hear stuff you've not heard in ages and for it still to sound as good as you remember. So that was the "Rocker" bit.

I took the Banana Bus with me this morning again. That kind of makes it sound like I was going anyway and just asked the van along too, but you know what I mean.

Anyhow, no sooner had I arrived than we were off again to the High School back here in Strontian, to attend the Ardnamurchan Mod, a sort of mini-lead-in event to the National Mod (to be held this year in sunny Fort William). The idea, for those of you unfamiliar with the concept, is that youngsters - Gaelic speaking or not - can come along, speak or sing in Gaelic according to their choice of category and be roundly criticised for not being perfect. At least that's what the format appeared to be this morning. Livid I was (get out of here Yoda!).

At school we try to be as positive as possible, suggesting areas for improvement in the context of telling the children how well they've done to even have a go. All about building confidence, self-esteem and the ability to be an effective contributor who's valued for what they can do rather than slated for what they can't. Miserable old curmudgeons. Who amongst us can honestly say they can lenite perfectly in front of an audience? (NB - that's a mind-bending, scarily academic and generally pretty mental link. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Oh. My involvement in all this? I only got to join in didn't I? The wee ones (primary 1,2 &3) needed a backdrop for their action song...guess who got to go on stage and hold it up?

There you have it...MODs AND Rockers. The bus certainly gets around...

2007-06-14T23:19:00.000+01:00

Surface tension.

So, in their infinite wisdom, Highland Council's roads department have decided to start resurfacing a fairly sizeable stretch of the main (okay, pretty much ONLY) road on the peninsula - the A861 - just as the tourist season really kicks in. So far, so silly.

Even sillier, however (unless I'm really missing something), is the fact that they appear to have chosen a very slippy, dusty collection of pebbles to form the new surface. I had assumed they'd stick some tarmac over the top - crazy notion, I know - but the rocks and gravel went down days ago and in the meantime I've been forced to drive the van as if I were practicing for the Isle of Mull Rally, which may be no bad thing.

2007-06-14T21:01:00.000+01:00

Le Pays-Bas…

Always enjoyed that being read out on Eurovision as a youngster. Who am I kidding? I maybe watched it twice…ah, the great Johnny Logan! Anyway…

The Banana Bus sports three stickers up the back end. He (I’m certain my bus is male) proudly proclaims to have been to Holland, Belgium and Luxembourg. Mind you, there’s also this metal plate on the tailgate and I’m fairly sure the camper hasn’t been there.

How and ever, it must be said that I’d really like to get the van to these “exotic” destinations one day. I’ve never been one for collecting those wee triangular-pennant type stickers for places one’s visited but I reckon if the van’s previous owners HAD filled the windows with them, I’d probably have some strange desire to return there with the bus. As it is, I find myself wondering whether we’d make it to such far flung destinations.

Last year, I investigated the – fiendishly cunning – idea of visiting them as part of a round trip. We’d take the ferry overnight from, of all places, Aberdeen into Sweden (or maybe it was Bergen in Norway). Then, having negotiated the upper reaches of Scandinavia, we would drop down into St. Petersburg before motoring into Poland and Germany before hitting the aforementioned “low countries” en route to La Belle France and finally homeward.

Wouldn’t you just know it? The ferry company only withdrew the Aberdeen – Scandinavia service. The cads. The alternative, I think, is to head for Scandinavia via Hull or some other such equally glamorous ferry port. I know for a fact – without even checking Multimap – that Hull is the best part of 8 hours away from us by car. Gail’s big sister and her family (she of the Pedlars Plates) live in East Lincolnshire, not too far from the Humber. Goodness only knows how long the bus might take to make that trip. The more sedate four or five hours to Aberdeen, whilst hillier, certainly involves far fewer miles and takes into account that all-important fuel economy: i.e. it being pants, we don’t want to drive too many unnecessary miles!

If it turns out that the only way to do it is indeed to head south to the wilds of Beautiful South territory then that’s what we’ll have to do. “Have to do” hah! Of course, one simply must takes one’s van off to the continent. Why it’s virtually compulsory. Not this year though…we’re off to Ireland again.

I was going to leave it there and say “of which more later” and all that but I feel I can’t stop without mentioning one of the main reasons for heading back to the Emerald Isle: we had the most fantastic scones and coffee in a café on the site of the signalman’s hut for the first ever transatlantic telegraph cable in Valentia Island, Co. Kerry. It only opens for 4 days a week, 3 months of the year…we’ll just have to time it right.

Ridiculous? Moi?

2007-06-10T23:26:00.000+01:00

Blog roll...

I've never really been happy with that as a "web speak" type thing. Anyway, I'm sure Uncle Tim would be happy as long as people are using the internet to stay in touch. Who can say? Judging by his "before you mail me" section, he's a bit of a grump. Maybe just a very busy man. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Digression again. The point of all this was to mention a potentially very interesting site I came across whilst on a visit to one of my old favourite VW web haunts, The Dead Bus Diaries. Phil (Deadbus creator) points visitors in the direction of some "work" by a guy called Charlie Ford. He's got an old mid-life crisis camper van blog on the go here.

Worth a look I reckon.

2007-06-10T23:17:00.000+01:00

It's a Legal Matter Baby...

So I probably can't say too much about it. However, as regular visitors will know, we're still trying to sort out a little incident. Little or not (and let's be honest, NOT is the correct response here), the vandalising, thieving, emotionally traumatising sods have still not paid up. This means we're hundreds of pounds out of pocket, they care not a jot AND we still have to see them going up and down to school - yes, you read that properly - every day.

I'm telling you, naming and shaming is on the way if this keeps up. Must take legal advice on that. Before I started this post tonight I was thinking how sad and ridiculous I'd have to be to check up the legalities of a blog post but the anger which has built as I type leads me to think it's a road worth travelling down. And hey, if I'm going to be travelling it in the bus then at least I can always stop for a brew! Off for one now. Cheers.

2007-06-10T22:56:00.000+01:00

How does it happen?

Mess. It gets everywhere. One of our neighbours said today, on witnessing us attempting to clear out the shed, that "stuff in sheds is like gas - it expands to fill a space," how true. I tried to keep the bus free of the things that were coming from the shed and, it must be said, I did pretty well to stop the strimmer and the chicken feed making their way into the camper. Black bags full of children's clothes ready for charity shop uplift, though, seem to have made a temporary home for themselves on the lovely new vinyl floor. It doesn't leave much space for the lawnmower or the left over tins of paint...

2007-06-09T18:02:00.000+01:00

Fixing things...

Some people really are just too skilly. Steve, of VWInteriors, who swapped me a bike rack for my snowboard at Biggar had had to make a new bracket for me as one had fallen off on their journey up from Doncaster (Steve and Jo's journey, it's not like the brackets had made their own way north). Anyway, teh newly fabricated one arrived yesterday. It's a thing of beauty.

I dunno, split screen van, lovely curtains business and a whizz with a lathe (I'm guessing their, not sure what they're for really)...some people have all the luck!

2007-06-09T17:57:00.000+01:00

A dish at the door...

I was trying desperately to think of some witty melamine related title but everything I came up with was just a crock of s***. I thank you.

Anyway, we've been hunting high and low (okay, Tesco, Asda, Lidl, Mataland and Just Kampers) for some new plates and bowls to replace the old stuff from the van. So far we've had little success...Matalan's best attempt was a manky plastic affair which, we've learned from bitter IKEA experience, scores and marks terribly. A bit like a dyslexic cricket umpire. That really is poor.

Imagine, then, my delight on returning home yesterday to find a package from Pedlars sent to me by my sister-in-law containing these lovely fellows...

They're very delightful and a bit of a funky-retro type item...pity we don't have the '57 Split bus to go with them.

Isn't it lovely to have some things handed to you on a plate?
(sorry)

2007-05-29T19:27:00.000+01:00

Biggar, Better, Faster, More...

I think that was an album by the 4 Non Blondes. More importantly, Biggar was the venue for Volksfling last weekend.

The BananaBus at Biggar

We think we might have won the "most picturesque drive down" competition we decided to unofficially run. Glencoe was looking suitably spectacular and not a little bit imposing as can be seen in the photos. The A82 - a helluva state normally - was fairly bump free but very busy Northbound with Bank Holiday weekend traffic.

We made good time in the newly revamped Banana Bus as we dropped in at Bridgeton to collect Grampa John (my dad) and enjoy a cuppa and a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer...milk, not plain. Jings! The very thought...

Onwards then, sniggering quietly at the shockingly busy northbound A74, we pottered along through exotic sounding places like "Crossford," "Lanark" and the strangely twee sounding, "Symington." There were loads and loads of garden centres and my dad wasted no time in reminiscing about berry picking when my sister and I were wee...needless to say I recall nothing of this, no doubt in much the same way that Ben will remember little of our rambles and trips in years to come. I digress...

We arrived, problem free in Biggar. But not before we'd attempted a new world record for "nummber of times you can cross the Clyde in one hour in a Camper Van" (6) en route. I've still never managed to make my way to the source of the river up in the Lowther Hills but it was certainly little more than a big stream by the time we neared Biggar having been about three quarters of a mile wide* as we (ahem) sped over the Erskine Bridge.

*just a guess...how do you measure that when you've forgotten to start counting as you drive onto the bridge?

The festival itself...well what can one say? Never entirely sure of the point of these things but we got rid of the old fridge from the bus which was collected on behalf of another 80-90 person by Tony & Nic whom I had trouble locating. As I said to them in a text when they'd suggested meeting by the bouncy castle, "I feel like Tony Hawks...I'll be the one with the fridge."

Having also met up with Steve of VWInteriors "fame" to get a bike rack in exchange for a snowboard - as one does - we then bumped into more 80-90ers in the shape of the Bowton Lad & Beach Bum...both of whom have lovely buses, it must be said. Now, I may be sad but I'm not that sad so I didn't take photos of their vans. I did, however, get a photo of Fritz's camper. Fritz has been a long time 80-90 correspondent and has answered many a query and helped me offload an unwanted Christmas DVD by swapping it for a Sheryl Crow CD. Which was nice.

...Steve's Split

Fritz has a big family and a big van to match. Not that I'm saying his van looks like his family, that would just be daft but what it does look like is great fun, having - as it does - one of those fantastic Viking spacesaver roofs.

It was brilliant to finally put a face to a name and Maisie would gladly have stayed in their pop-up all day!

Fritz's exciting paintjob.

After that it was nearly time to hit the road, having singularly failed to locate any nice melamine dining ware but not before we'd hit the West of Scotland VW Club stand to acquire a t-shirt for Ben and say hello to Chris & Dave. Lovely, helpful types who've pointed me in the right direction as I sought to sort out the van following the vandalism.

Highlight of the day had to be on the way out. Desperately in need of a caffeine hit, I spied a lovely green panel van. How is that of any use? Check out the photo and the link and this one to see why! Inspired. It made me think we'd need to use our recently borrowed wind turbine (don't ask, long story...will explain in the summer) to power our Gaggia. What's more worrying? The fact that I even thought of doing that or the fact that I'm not joking?

Chocolate sprinkles sir?

Anyway, reasonably uneventful drive home but we did spot the very nice - I thought - race card building (is that the right name?) at the disused Lanark Racecourse. Following an odd incident where we thought for a moment we had entered the Isle of Man TT just south of Crianlarich, we were able to continue our picturesque driving theme by zooming up through Glencoe & Ballachulish then over the Corran Ferry as the sun went down. People pay money to come here you know!

TT Ecosse?

...Ballachulish at Sundown

...The Corran Ferry

A lovely day, lovely people, lovely coffee and lovely to be back on the road in the Banana Bus.

(clockwise from left)

Glencoe, homeward bound; Loadsadubs; Bugs Galore; Crazy Maisie & Mister Ben at Biggar.

2007-05-17T23:26:00.000+01:00

And we're done!

All aboard the Banana Bus! The gas is okay - I had the lever set wrongly having forgotten I'd moved it to do some painting - and the inside looks lovely...

The long wait is finally over, the van is looking better than it did before we bought it and we're looking forward to reclaiming some lost time and having a ball in the van in the warm summer months ahead.

So we just need to get ourselves out and about for an overnighter or two before our trip to the Outsider Festival. Can't wait.

2007-05-13T22:59:00.000+01:00

Don't let the bar-stewards grind you down.

Well, we haven't. The bus hit the road again tonight, 99% finished (just the vinyl floor to lay) and looking - if I do say so myself -pretty good. In true camper van style, things didn't go too smoothly. We leapt up from our roast chicken dinner to jump in the van and zoom (ahem) off to the beach about 9 miles from the house. We packed the bus with water, matches, cups, teabags, homemade scones and two small children.

The van made good time and we piled out leaving Gail to brew up. No sooner had we set found on the shingle than the van window opened and I was summoned back to have a look at the gas. It had been so long since I'd used it that I had to step outside to try to think how it all worked...the problem being that I already knew we had it right so that meant there had to be a problem of some sort.

Hey ho, an empty gas bottle. Wouldn't you just know it? I suppose not having filled it since August 2005 after the Ireland trip has something to do with it...

Still, important to have gotten out and about and we did at least manage a cuppa and that scone on our return.

The Banana Bus is back. Watch this space.

2007-05-10T23:33:00.000+01:00

Looking good...

So far it looks a bit like this inside our bus:

2007-05-10T22:52:00.000+01:00

You go out for the day...

...and this happens! I don't know, some people...All I did was take Ben and Maisie to Skye for the day on Monday and when we left the house our smelly old camper van cushions looked like this:

When we returned, a mere 8 hours later, someone had very thoughtfully turned the boards, some new foam and some jolly red and yellow material into this:

Well done Gail! Nearly there now...

As for Skye, very nice. Dry for a change - though chucking it down on the mainland - as we "foot passengered" over to Armadale from Mallaig. Bit of a bumpy crossing necessitating a coffee and a Kit Kat. Well, you can't be too careful about these things.

Once on the island we did a bit of wandering (Ben, Maisie, Me), some shouting and swearing at the crappy pram wheels (me), some whinging about being stuck in a pram (Maisie) and a bit of beachcombing (Ben).

Having exhausted the boundless potential (spent 5, maybe 6 minutes deciding the gardens were too pricey and the cafe/restaurant looked rubbish) of Armadale Castle and Gardens we turned round and headed towards Ardvasar where we had lunch in the Ardvasar hotel, which was perfectly nice in a sort of pub-lunchy kind of way. Which is what it was.

2007-05-06T23:08:00.000+01:00

Work in progress...

...work continues apace on the upholstery, well, as "pacy" as is possible with a 15 month old scooting around trying to climb up the sewing machine.

NB: afficionados should note that it's the CHEQUERED pattern we're using, not the delightful "pub-carpet" motif of the living room. Just in case you were wondering...

2007-05-01T22:54:00.000+01:00

Cool...

That's what our beers and milk will be now. We've finally sourced a 12volt lead for our mini fridge thanks to "Disco Dave" from Club 80-90.
Thanks Dave! It's been a bit of a struggle what with the wee cooler being an odd fitting and we've toyed with getting an inverter and all sorts of other ideas which seemed to expensive or complicated to bother with. So it was with some relief that I opened Dave's email to find that Halfords had the very thing we were after. Works a treat too...

Believe it or not, the mini fridge used to be used by my good self in this very house before Gail and Ben moved up. Halogen days (sic). Actually, Halogen Days would have done...it was flipping freezing here before we put the woodburner in.

Hot...red hot!

That's what this little afterburner device type thing is! It's connected up to the engine to provide an extra 100bhp!

Either that or it's the old fridge disconnected and sitting on the engine bay lid. Doubt it somehow...

2007-04-30T22:59:00.000+01:00

Slower than a T25?

That's the rate of progress - or lack therof - on the bus interior front. Ho hum. All a bit British Rail (We're getting there) - though I'm sure I've said that before...Deja vu.

Nonetheless, the weather has indeed been glorious and the sun positively glints off that "Soft Cream." Which is nice.

2007-04-15T22:31:00.000+01:00

2nd floor, Upholstery, Haberdashery and Thingummyjigs...

So, the foam finally arrived. Much excitement. So excited were we that we left it for days and days without opening it in case it was the wrong size. Logic? Not here matey! I think what we actually reckoned was that if we opened it we'd have to find sapce for it. "Put it in the camper van!" I hear you say. "No, it's full of paint and mess and the old cushions!" say I.

Anyway...I've sorted all the painting - with a bit of help from Ben - and it looks very spacious. All that remains (Ha! Like it's a wee, tiny job!) is to put the cupboards back on, put down the new flooring and get the seating re-upholstered. Easy.

As for that upholstery type stuff, as I sit here typing, Gail and her friend Hollie (a bit of a seamstress whizz!) are sitting on the floor surrounded by cushions and yards and yards of fabric trying to work out how the hell CI/Autohomes went about getting the material to sit nicely on the plywood sections of the fold out bed. It all sounds a bit complicated to me with talk of "selvedges", "welts" and "French stitching."

I get confused at pinking shears.

How and ever, no doubt it will all come together and we shall eventually get ourselves back in the van and on the road in a very stylish stylee.

2007-04-15T22:03:00.000+01:00

The view from the van...

Progress on the van has been slow of late as we've been busily constructing a home in anticipation of our new arrivals. They're here at last! Margo and Barbara have settled in and will keep the Banana Bus company at the back of the garden for the time being...which is nice.
The bus, though, has been getting a new lick of paint too - it looks very bright and shiny inside and the lightness of colour makes for a feeling of more space - always a bonus when there will be two small children in it on any future trips. And we're obliterating the awful lilac (!) cupboard interiors and dark brown sticky paint as we go.

The paint is not one I'd recommend, the colour is nice but as for "one coat"? Forget it. B&Q, your paint stinks! Didn't stop me from buying another can of it on a trip to Glasgow this week though did it? Well, I've started so I'll finish and all that.

Since I was paint shopping I reckon that makes it a bus related trip which allows me to crowbar in a blog entry even though the Banana Bus wasn't present, so I will.

Excellent day in the west end waiting for the car to be serviced (loads needing done by way of "advisory" notes but we'll see how long we can keep limping along for, though the front tyres could do with being replaced) but not very fruitful in terms of finding the second hand records I was after. I seem to recall Byres Road being better served for music shops when I was a lad, as it was I only bought a "new" CD - Maximo Park's excellent "A Certain Trigger" for the princely sum of £6 from Fopp. Let it Bleed, Dirty Laundry and LA, Memphis & Tyler, Texas will just have to wait.

The other purpose of the visit was a visit to the Barrowlands for a gig by the still excellent Barenaked Ladies. I saw them on the first trip to Scotland back in 1993 on two great nights at King Tut's when they were still an acoustic band. The last time I saw them was at the Carling Academy in Glasgow which I reckon is a crap venue and it wasn't a great gig. They played there on Sunday too, the night before the Barras gig, but as soon as I saw they were doing a second night elsewhere I thought I'd give them another go. I'm very glad I did - Steven Page's voice is quite incredible and the banter is amazing.

The old favourites, Brian Wilson, What A Good Boy and The Old Apartment were full of life in front of a very appreciative crowd and the band's trademark improv-rap (honest, it's better than it sounds!) was based on a pair of massive "PLEASE MIND THE STEP" signs and provided an excellent inspiration for Ed to freewheel on the dangers of 3 inch drops in concert venues. "If I Had $1million" just about brought the house down; so good was it in fact that I was almost tempted by the BNL's visionary e-commerce tactics: £20 buys a pen-drive with tonight's gig available 15 minutes after the band come off stage. That's genius. A long way from the days when I used to go to the Barras market of a Sunday and try to buy a bootleg tape of gigs from the venue above...they were only three quid back then mind you.

2007-04-07T15:56:00.000+01:00

Progress? Excitement?

Yes and no I reckon. After a week of very little bus related activity - though I did get to drive a friend's van today, manual gearbox, very odd but running like a dream - in which building a chicken coop has been more of a priority and every spare hour has been spent calling the foam suppliers to find out what on earth has happened to our foam, we finally have a delivery!

You'll note from the 1930's steamer trunk style labelling that perhaps the goods have been on a long voyage (certainly via Warrington and Edinburgh according to the label and possibly even Perth and Dundee if the PH & DD codes mean what I think they do...)

I've not been brave enough to open it yet as I'm pretty convinced it's not all there - looks WAY too small to be 3 cushions plus the "upstairs." We shall see...

2007-04-03T22:43:00.000+01:00

oam.

Well, there's no f-in foam here! Boom, boom. Very annoyed today, Ace Foam still haven't managed to get our new bedding foam to us - sent it by cheapest ParcelForce tariff apparently so no tracking code...not good enough. Gail's hoping to get going on the upholstery but that's pretty tricky with nothing to upholster. The suppliers - Ace Foam in case you missed it earlier - have been less than helpful. I'd be delighted if they complained about me mentioning their poor service as I could then detail just how poor it has been but for now I can't be bothered. Rather like their admin staff...

They have until tomorrow then we go to the top and get a refund! I should have gone with what is now "Plan B" all along - buy it in Glasgow, get it cut there and then and take it away immediately. Ho hum...you live and learn.

2007-04-01T21:28:00.000+01:00

Another lovely day in the garden...

...and more work on the van. Glorious weather and out comes the paint - "Soft Cream" from B&Q - to do the cupboard doors and some other panels.

Nearly overdosed on white spirit as I tried to remove gunky traces of paint applied by a previous owner onto the rubbery trim around some of the units. Despite plenty of ventilation I was nearly overcome with emulsion! (old joke...)

Anyhow, making some good progress and I got the fabric yesterday too. Nice red & yellow "large check" type thing from Dunelm Mill which is the same as the mat in the link. It will look nice with some new curtains which Gail's going to manufacture to go with the creamy paint...we've got some leftover curtain material in the house which will do the job nicely. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and all that...

Other news in the village in the form of a visitation from an Austin 7 with a tiny Ben-sized caravan, complete with electric hook-up and a wee telly! Ben took these...

I like that it says it's an "RV"

2007-03-29T19:56:00.000+01:00

Dah dah dah!

Big fanfare...it's the third anniversary of the first ever post on the Banana Bus blog. How exciting. Were it not for the fact that I'm in the middle of doing 101 things for work, I might just be tempted to sit here and catalogue some of the adventures.

I think my highlight of owning the bus has been the brilliant trip to Ireland in 2005 - see www.roundirelandinawedge.co.uk - whilst the hair-raising but sadly unblogged no-brakes trip down the Bealach Na Bo at Applecross will take some forgetting.

I'm really going to try to keep the blog going a bit better from now on so watch this space...

2007-03-26T21:52:00.000+01:00

The good work continues...

A sun-kissed day in the garden brought out the cleaning instincts. Starting the day off giving a hand in the annual village clean up we soon returned to the garden to get on with work in the van.

I've got a load of photos of the wreckage and carnage but I can't face looking at them all for the time being so I'll just stick a couple up here...Ben sorted the light trashed by the "naughty boys" as he's taken to calling them:

Other assorted items of damage included the sink front (now removed) and the trashed floor and kids' booster seat...

Though on what seems like a slightly happier note, we've got the cupboard doors off, the buddy seat out and the carnage cleared, ready for work to begin in earnest...

Though quite why WE should be having to sort all this out and not the little blighters (said he exercising commendable restraint) responsible is beyond me. Ho hum.

2007-03-24T22:09:00.000Z

It's a start...

And, as Joey the Lips said, "I believe in starts."

First tentative steps on the road to recovery today, I think. Big trip to the big smoke for some shopping - new cupboard doors courtesy of the timber department at B&Q, a replacement for the cracked light over the cooker from the excellent caravan shop on Great Western Road along with a nice new moisture trap from there too...Oh, we also got a very cheap bit of wood effect vinyl flooring from Allied Carpets, which was nice.

We'd ordered the replacement foam from Ace yesterday so we needed to get on the trail of some suitable fabric today. Since the curtains had come up nicely in the wash we thought we'd try to keep the colour scheme similar to that already in place - a kind of rusty orange and browny-red type affair. Honest, it's better than it sounds. Anyway, that wasn't easy, particularly when you've forgotten to take a sample of the curtain fabric with you. Regardless, we pressed on and tried Mandors and Remnant Kings without much success. Dunelm Mill seems to be a better bet as they had loads of lovely fabric and gave us some samples to take away. We're too tired now to get the fabric out and have a look but at least we've made some steps in the right direction.

It feels like we might actually be able to get the van back on the road and enjoy it again. We've set ourselves a target of the midsummer weekend as we've booked tickets for a music festival up North and we've requested a camper van pass too! Always nice to have something to aim for...

2007-03-21T21:56:00.000Z

Two good things:

1: that last post was number 100! (shocking really, the blog has been up for three years come the end of this month)

2: Foam ordered at last: Ace Foam

Which is nice.

2007-03-21T21:11:00.000Z

Still trying...

...to sort things out with the van. We've decided not to go down the insurance route as it would knacker our premiums which should just be getting back to normal soon after the claim for the legendary exploding pop top.

Anyhow...we're sourcing some nice upholstery material which is easier said than done. You can look and look online all you want (and believe me, we have!) but there's no substitute for actually being able to see and feel what you're getting. A trip to Glasgow to stroke some materials is calling...

The foam for the cushions and to replace Ben's bed upstairs which was wrecked should be simple enough but for the fact that the supplier's website has been down for most of the day and I'd set myself the task of putting the order in tonight. Not to worry...we'll get it sorted.

In a spirit of tarting the van up generally I'd like to replace the rubber "guttering" on the front of the bus which is all cracked. I think it's called an "A pillar" or something like that. Alas the suppliers seem to have ceased trading so I'll have to look around on Ebay or some other online megastore.

I'm feeling a bit like a certain 80's TV ad...

PS - this Youtube pic ain't a working link.

2007-03-14T20:27:00.000Z

P.S.

All is not lost. I chopped up our trashed wooden chopping board to use as kindling on the wood burner in the house. Silver linings...

2007-03-14T20:17:00.000Z

The bitterest pill

Well, that was hard. I wanted to type this last night but was too upset. Calmed down a bit now.

Following the, ahem, "adventures" of late I finally got round to giving the van a good clean last night. I knew it was a hell of a state but I really wasn't expecting it to be worse than I'd suspected. Wanton and willfull vandalism is a horrible thing to be in the midst of.

Not only was the bedding and the carpet beyond reasonable use - burns, ground in goodness knows what - but everything else had been trashed too...and then attempts made to hide the carnage. What kind of lowlife rips the arms off a child's booster seat, trashes a kids kite or sets fire to a pair of binoculars? I never thought it would be rural lowlife, that's for sure.

Still, we know who did it and so do the police. The culprits have even been to the door to apologise! That was a bit of a shock I have to say...

Weirdo that I am I took photos of the wreckage but can't display them as it's too upsetting. My main focus now is to get the bus sorted and back on the road. It may have been an odd and perhaps unnecessary thing to do but we binned most of the stuff in the van as we felt that with the amount of moving about of our stuff that had been done, we couldn't be sure things hadn't been tampered with...if this seems extreme, let me just say the two words to strike fear into the hearts of even Kim and Aggie...used condoms.

With that thought I shall leave you for the evening.

2007-03-08T13:35:00.000Z

More Bs: Ben Blogging...

This is what Ben (4) wanted to say about the Banana Bus.

"The campervan is really funny. Do you know why it's really funny? Because when you're sitting in it it wriggles your bottom and it tickles, cause you're bumping over gravel. Because it bumps your bum is because you're going over big bumps on the hills.

The van broke down by bad boys but the police have tooken away the bottles and now we're getting it fixed.

When it's holiday time we're going to drive it. That's all I want to say."

2007-03-07T22:44:00.000Z

Enjoying the cameraderie...

Nice bunch of folk here ... and they're kind of Glasgow-ish based too, which always makes me feel at home. Not to take anything away from the great folks at 80-90 but it's nice just to get a wee localised perspective from time to time.

I really have to put a "Glasgow" hyperlink into the first line of this post but there are so many to choose from. Not an easy decision. Decided on this one and this too.

The Bananabus makes no claims as to the quality and content of external websites, by the way.

2007-03-07T12:17:00.000Z

Progress?

Still looking around and have uncovered (wee upholstery gag there)http://www.glencoedesign.co.uk/ as a potential - and indeed local - source of assistance.

Well, it's all part of the fun. Hey, silver linings and all that. At least I'm blogging more, which can only be a good thing...

2007-03-06T23:31:00.000Z

Really tricky...

That's what life is at times. I keep wanting to vent my spleen about all that's happened with the bus but the anger takes over and I feel like typing it in "public" is not the best place for it.

You know, okay you don't but I'm going to tell you, we actually KNOW who seems to be responsible and I could obviously bang on about that but the police are dealing with it so I'll leave them to it. But the thing is the knowing is making it worse because we just keep thinking: WHY? We live in a tiny place and everyone but everyone knows whose van it is which makes it all the worse. Maybe I've done something to annoy these people...?

The really, really bad bit is that a lot of the damage is psychological. That's not to say that we're going to need counselling or anything - though it's a thought - but that's where OUR KIDS HAVE TO SLEEP! That's what I want to scream in the faces of those responsible.

Who knows anything about karma? Answers on a Tibetan prayer flag...

2007-03-06T22:53:00.000Z

Well, that's something at least...

This WAS a nice post. It got lost in the Blogger system and I'm trying to type it again.

Don't know if I can be bothered now.

The long and short of it all is that I've spent much of the day on the phoen trying to source a repairer to do the work on the van but no amount of caravan and motorhome places from Dumfries to Aberdeen seem to do upholstery and carpets...what state must their vans be in?

At any rate, the van's still knackered, the tax is due in three weeks, we're no further forward and my knee's still sore.

Oh, the title of this post? The bus started - pretty much first time - when Gail brought it round today. Which, as they say, was nice...

2007-02-27T22:48:00.000Z

B is also for...

...bastards. Cant say too much due to police investigation but uffice to sy that on Friday night a gang of gits broke into our van, had a bit of a booze up and proceeded to trash it...kids seats, extra custom made foam beds for up top, lights inside, sink panel...the list goes on and I feel sick to even think about it.

The smell of fags,drink and goodness only knows what else is hellish.

It's a good thing it wasn't parked, oooh, 40 yards from a police station, isn't it?

Scunnered of Strontian.

(scroll down, "Vincent Vega", quote 2)

2007-02-24T15:41:00.000Z

Blimey! Banana Bus Beta Blogging...

How odd. I was thinking about all those "B"s there and remembered an old Billy Connolly routine about algebra "how do you add letters? I dunno...one B is B, two Bs is a coupla Bs..." and thought it would be nice to "Google" it...what a storm it all kicked up: Billy on Algebra. It's true what Dave Gorman said, the internet has everything in the whole world...ever. It's easy to get distracted.

I digress.

As ever.

Anyhow...the point of this post was that I've "migrated" (dead exotic sounding) to BLOGGER 2 - they made me do it! I tried to resist their fancy new tags, RSS feeds and Atoms. What the hell are all those things? I need this: bewilderment explained. As it goes, I'm hoping that B2 (see, I'm into the jargon, though maybe it should be BBB2 - BananaBusBlogger2?) will make me more streamlined and efficient.

Like a T25.

2007-02-22T18:36:00.000Z

Looks like we got ourselves a reader...

No idea why I thought to head up a post with a line from the great man. Anyway, as I seem to be forever saying here, not much going on on the bus front at the moment. Plans for the next few weeks/months:

* new seat covers to be made for the rear (Gail & friends!)
* anti-rust painty stuff to be applied
* new tyres (money permitting)
* IKEA or Au-Naturale cheapo rugs, cushions and blankets for that "Moroccan Bazaar" (bizarre more like) feel when the back seat is down...

Wow. Exciting or what? Slight concerns over the notion of holidaying in such a confined space with two children under five...yes, we managed a few days last summer (still no written record or pictures posted) but Maisie couldn't get about at that stage. The vision of a small child crashing around the bus whilst pots and kettles bubble on the gas hob is one I can't shake...

No. I'm not going to be the one sleeping in the awning...I don't do canvas.

2007-01-29T21:14:00.000Z

How I wish I'd had my bus...

EVERYONE should have a camper van, that's what I think. More to the point, those who DO have one should not, under any circumstances, go anywhere, like, say, Aberdeen, without taking theirs with them. Heaven forbid, they might do something daft like book into a youth hostel and decide it's so awful they do something crazy like, just for argument's sake, sleep in the car instead.

Who'd do something like that? Not a campervan owner, that's for sure.

Excuse me. I'll get me coat...

2007-01-10T22:26:00.000Z

New Year...same old lack of blogging?

To be fair to myself though, there's not a lot happening on the old van front at the moment. Oh, other than the fact that it turns out that - much to my annonyance and surprise - the DVLA no longer grant tax exemption status to vehicles over 25 years old unless they were first registered before 1973...and there's my Banana Bus approaching its quarter century this year too. Harrumph.

That aside, the van should hopefully see a bit more activity this year than last with a potential big summer trip again...Ireland may once again be beckoning, such is the prohibitive cost of doing the Calmac island hop thing in the Hebrides!

As they say, watch this space...

2006-12-31T21:36:00.000Z

Wood yew be-leave it?

How's about that then, as a certain Jimmy Savile would once have said? I got a copy of Campervan Crazy from my wee sister for Christmas and, lo and behold and indeed unbeknown to her, on page 140 there's a wee photo of the Banana Bus being used for purposes it was never intended, namely carrying a load of wood. A really organised person would have a picture of that very shot in this here blog entry but, as I think I've established some time ago from the lack of activity on this site, organised is not really a word associated with my good self.

I wonder if Jim could fix it for me to get my arse into gear in the new year and sort this blog out...?

2006-12-13T20:25:00.000Z

Tickety-Boo...

...the bus is back. Good as (almost) new. Turned out the wee bracket linking the throttle linkage to the something or other was rotten. I think. Anyway, the bus works. It starts. It drives. It accelerates. It's ready and raring to go...I'm not though, it's bloody freezing and very wet up here at the moment and we're going nowhere.

I think I'll just stay in and fiddle about on this new broadband connection, maybe buy some unnecessary tat on Ebay...

2006-12-13T20:13:00.000Z

Limp Bus-kit...

...does that work? I don't know.

Anyway, the limping. As I mentioned some time ago (surely it can only have been yesterday, after all this thing is updated all the time...) the van has been, to put it in technical terms, knackered. "Revving its arse off" was, I believe, the term used...

Well on Saturday we farted and belched our way along to the garage in Ardgour to have the mannie take a look at the throttle linkage. I pootled along at about 25-30 miles an hour on perhaps 2 cylinders, fighting my way through gales and driving rain to drop the van off. I'd arranged earlier in the day to get a lift home from one of the ferrymen at the end of his shift. My goodness - what a rollercoaster that was. Not once did the speedo drop below 80 in his wee white van until we hit (almost literally) the Post Office here in the village. I had no idea up until that point that those white lines in the middle of the road are for FOLLOWING not for driving either side of as I'd been doing...jings (as Oor Wullie would once have said)

2006-11-03T12:39:00.000Z

And once again...

...the sham continues. This is not so much a blog anymore as a vague
attempt to cling onto some vestige of time. Of which I never seem to have
any.

I'd love to update this thing more often but "it all falls down and
there's not enough hours in the day" as Gomez would once have sung (sang?)

Maybe someday I'll get a chance to actually record a trip or two, at the
moment I'm reduced to emailing it in again.

Oh, some bus news - it's broken! The automatic chokes are, to quote Gail,
"revving their arse off" and causing the van to, ahem, "idle" at 25mph in
Drive.

What fun...it never usually goes so quickly...

2006-09-08T16:08:00.000+01:00

Well bus fans, it's been a long, long time but I'm attempting to e-mail in
my blog just to keep up the pretence and all that...

It doesn't appear to be "formattable" in that I can't seem to do anything
other that type in plain text but we'll see how it all pans out.

I really, really must sort myself out. Suffice it to say that we (and the
bus) have been fairly busy of late - squeezing in jaunts to Wester Ross,
the North East coast, Mull and Arisaig over the last 8 weeks or so.

Of which, as they say, more to come...

2006-07-17T21:08:00.000+01:00

SEW, we’ve got it covered.

Modern technology meets the Banana Bus at last. Having, since we acquired the van, been in need of some sort of covering for the cupboards – the doors have long been missing – Gail borrowed a friend’s sewing machine to get stitching before we head off for a wee day or two up north.

There’s a perfectly lovely electric Singer machine languishing in the shed under heaps and heaps of stuff and neither of us could be bothered to retrieve it so you can imagine our delight when we unveiled the machine Mandy had lent us.

It too was a Singer and is quite possibly one of the most beautiful objects I’ve ever seen. I’ve not had a “Google” for it yet but it looks like it might be the best part of – if not more than – a century old. Its operation and functions are – by today’s standards I suppose – somewhat primitive but there’s no doubting the quality of the craftsmanship and the fact that it still glides smoothly after all this time is testament to the manufacturing process employed not a mile from the Clydebank yards where some of the world’s great liners slipped into the water.

A thing of beauty it most certainly is and the curtains are looking pretty good too.

2006-07-17T21:03:00.000+01:00

TOM WEIR, PLUS FOURS AND A WEE WOOLY HAT

On the way back up the road on Thursday we detoured out from Glasgow along the back roads of Milngavie and Carbrae – via the legendary “Whangie Brae” – towards Balloch so that we could head up the lochside. No real reason other than that, for a change, we weren’t in a rush to get up to Strontian. It was lovely to pass along near the Endrick Water where I used to go on day trips as a youngster and as we skirted Drymen (turning left just before the village) our thoughts turned to a resident of the parish, one Tom Weir. Tom’s a bit of a Scottish folk legend, a former broadcaster and hillwalker he presented his superb show “Weir’s Way” touring Scotland on foot for what seemed like the entirety of my childhood and it’s been with some delight I’ve recently discovered that it is repeated at unholy hours of the night on Scottish TV.

Already a legend, Tom was immortalised in song a year or so back by Edinburgh based folk-popsters Aberfeldy (kind of Belle&Sebastian-y) in a tribute to his hill-walking based exploits. The track (“Tom Weir”) featured the wonderfully parochial line – for Tom was not averse to a snifter or two during the programme – “his red nose manifested, many years had been invested in the bevvy; from Eigg to Rum and Coll, he’d down a single malt and a wee heavy…”

I mention all this in passing by way of a small and sad farewell to the man who, I learned on Friday, passed away on Thursday afternoon in a retirement home in, of all places, Balloch. I’d like to think we were thinking of him just as we drove through. Who knows if he was still with us at that point. I doubt – as a man of the canvas – he’d have approved of a campervan but I hope he’d have approved of our wanderlust and desire to see even half as much of our beautiful country as he did.

2006-07-17T20:54:00.000+01:00

Overtaken by events…

…that’s what I’ve been over the last week or so. Where to start? The magic bus returned after a lengthy absence at the tail end of last week with the bodywork mostly completed (well, the REALLY tricky bits anyway – see picture) but with the new exhaust still sitting in its box inside the van. Not to worry. The MOT certificate certainly seemed a huge step closer.

The newly restored (?) arch...

Ben and I set to work both putting the van’s interior back together and installing – at long last – a three-point rear seat belt for Maisie’s car seat. Much, much, much easier said than done. Having done a bit of research – okay, a load of posts on Club 80-90 – and consulted the diagram in the seatbelt box, I’d managed to locate two of the mounting points but was struggling none too manfully to find the third. There was a hole where all the pictures said there’d be one but it was at least 3mm to small for the diameter of the bolt. No amount of twisting and turning was going to get it through there so, in the absence of a drill bit the right size I opted for the subtle course of action- I looked out my chainsaw!

DIY purists or Health & Safety enthusiasts need not panic; I only got the saw out so I could use one of the round files that comes with it. A bit of sweating – the garden thermometer read 26degress Celsius – later and the bolt went into the hole. The fun was just starting- as I type this my hand still aches with the pain of the lacerations caused by attempting to squeeze my arm in between the mounting point and the outer “wall” of the van.

Unable to get any purchase I had to give it up as a bad job and go into the house for a pot of tea instead. The one purchase I did get came next day when I treated myself to a socket set in order to finish the job. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth later- and ably assisted by Ben (awaiting PIC) I had fitted the belt and even jigsawed out an opening for it on the wall lining panel. Professional or what?

Putting the bed frame and seats back in proved a far simpler task and in no time at all the bus was looking (as) lovely (as it’s possible for it to look) again.

So, wheel arch welded, seatbelts in place, time for the easy bit. The MOT test. Simple enough – down to Glasgow first thing on the Monday morning to the same VW specialist as before, exhaust on, quick MOT test while Ben and I potter about in town and the West End and back to collect the van in time to whizz (ahem) up the A82 in time for the last ferry.

Just reading that, it all sounds far too simple doesn’t it?

In reality, having dropped the van off at the back of ten I thought that no news on the mobile was good news so when I phoned the garage just before four to tell them we were going to head down to collect the van if that was okay I really didn’t expect them to say that, no, it wasn’t okay. The bus had failed its MOT test. Brake flexi hose (front left) knackered, nearside inner sill needing a spot – forgive the pun – of welding and a broken number plate light are I suppose not bad considering the age of the vehicle and the distinct lack of TLC it receives from me.

This would all be bad enough alone if it wasn’t also for the fact that the phrase, “we’ve not been able to get the exhaust bolts off either so it’ll not be ready till late tomorrow, maybe Wednesday,” came swiftly after. Eh? What? “I’ll call you back.”

Panic. What now? 150 miles from home with a toddler and no transport. Why had the garage not called earlier? Did it really need the work done? I called Howie to ask if he thought the bus really did need the welding done. He was out. I called his mobile. Voicemail. Stressed and tired we jumped on the underground then the train to the garage. “You never called back,” I did, I lied, it was just ringing out…anyway, I’ll need to pay you what I owe you so far and just take the van home and get it MOT’d myself, we need to get home. “That seems a bit daft. What if I could give you a car to get you up the road and you can just come back for the van when you’re ready?”

How small did I feel? Taking back the cursing and swearing quietly inside myself I thank that blokey and gratefully took the keys to “the wee silver Golf, just outside the gate.” Excellent. A nippy motor to speed us homewards. Well, a 1.4 M-reg basic model with no radio but, you know, beggars and all that…

As I said, beggars can’t be choosers but my goodness, what a clunky gearbox. Still, it fairly flew up the Loch Lomondside road and if it hadn’t been for a pit stop to visit my dad who was changing trains at Crianlarich – long story – we’d have made that last ferry no bother. Oh well, an extra 50 miles or so, much of it on single track roads, after a long, stressful, hot and sticky day in an unfamiliar car is exactly the sort of thing you want to be doing…

So, along came Wednesday and off we went to collect the van – and what a lovely job they’d made of the exhaust (awaiting PIC) but what a stink as it burned off the protective coating! 250 quid all in and a new MOT test certificate to boot doesn’t seem too bad considering the awful sinking feeling I’d had in my stomach when I’d made that phone call on Monday afternoon.

The new exhaust certainly seems to have made a bit of a difference to the engine performance (is that possible? I don’t know, I’m not technical…) and the van SOUNDS like a proper air-cooled veedub now with that distinctive “fweem.” All that remains now is for us to get it loaded up with some rubbish and bits and bobs and head off for a wee holiday…

2006-06-20T22:54:00.000+01:00

Fire...I'll lead you to burn!

Well, what an exciting afternoon I had on Saturday. It's not everyday you get to be squeezed into your van in a boiler suit in 30+ degree temperatures whilst a man on the outside heats up the panels with an oxyacetalene torch.

Our friendly mechanic had asked me to come up and - as he put it - "firewatch" for him as he attempted to sort out the problem wheelarch. This sounded interesting.

I'd already stripped out much of the interior on the nearside - seats, insulation, curtains and the like - in preparation and it was with some trepidation that I took up my position crouched on the floor of the van with only a skooshy bottle of water (formerly home to some Mr Muscle oven cleaner) to save me.

The afternoon seemed to pass very quickly as I busied myself firewatching and being mesmerised by the little dots of heat appearing at intervals along the side of the van, where would one pop up next? I asked myself as spot after spot glowed then faded. Having put on the new panel, number 15 from Schofield's, it was time to sort out half a wheelarch.

Ah. Erm...

I'd not bought a wheelarch. Howie hadn't asked me to. "Oh, don't worry about that. It's all under control," he assured me as I looked on, already astonished at the transformation. In no time at all, he'd grabbed a piece of scrap steel from the workshop floor - as you do - taken it to the other wheelarch to take a radius size from, attacked it with tin snips and then it was out with the gas torch and the panel hammers & blocks. Less than 20 minutes later the wheelarch looked not dissimilar to how it must have done when it rolled off the production line in Wolfsburg.

There's still much to be done and the weather of late has turned from glorious to atrocious but I have high hopes.

The Bananabus may yet be ready to hit the Welsh coastline early in July...